Clothes and Toys

                Part of growing up is to keep up with the trend, have trendy toys and clothes and everything that's fashionable. Kids would start asking to buy what they see in the mall. In this case, providing what they want differs from one parent to another. It depends on their capacity to provide or the kind of environment they have.

                Kids from remote areas have different choices from kids in the city. They are not exposed to any form of media ; especially TV and the internet. So this did not give them a chance to see what they want to have. This makes life of  mothers from this area less complicated. They don't have to worry about giving this and giving that or have to deal with their kids' feelings of not having this and having that.

                In the city, kids live a much complicated environment where there is so much pressure in coping with fads. Peer influence is greater than anywhere. Parents have to explain why you can't provide this and why you can't give that. If not, then kids would start to feel you're a less loving parent.

               Georgia has her own tantrum when you won't buy toys or clothes she wants but I also make a point to tell her the value of money. I always explain that we can't buy those because we only have enough for our food. Kids might not understand this, but as you go along in doing this all the time, they'll get used to it and eventually learn to ask first.

               Goergia, whenever she spots a very nice toy starts with asking me " Ma, do you have money today?"; depending on what my reply is, then that's when she decides whether she'll ask the next question
" can we buy that?".... I can see that she is absorbing every explanation I made over the years. So this style applies not just for clothes and toys, but everything in general from A to Z. This is not just about a simple NO to a complicated SORRY. This has to be everything about everything.


               It was not very easy for me. We passed through a stage where I have to drag her, as in literally but not cruelly drag her home crying because she wont leave the mall unless I give in to her whims. In this case, being firm on what you are saying matters and it doesn't matter if she cries for an hour. For as long as you have  explained well,, it won't create any emotional baggage at all.

                Georgia has a lot of shoes and dresses, nice ones in her closet. She has accessories of all kinds. She is lucky enough to be getting all the best and nicest in town because of her Godmother who never failed to buy her bags of clothes from Ireland. She also has an aunt from Japan who sends her package of clothes and stuff, but this did not affect her view on the realistic side of not having money to buy these clothes. I told her, these are all give-aways and Mom does not have money. I told her to take care of these because in the future she might not have enough. This is to prepare her that life is not the same all the time. Whenever she complains about not liking her clothes, I'll explain to her that is a lot better than having no clothes at all, just like the kids in the streets.


               So you see a lot of challenges that we have to overcome in this role. They seemed to be very minimal and insignificant but as you realize, this is gonna be affecting their views and lifestyle in the future. So that makes it even more difficult. How we form their opinions today will affect their interaction to the society later. This defines our role as a mother. Even if we might not be able to see clearly when is the finale of this role in their lives, for as long as we feel that they still need guidance, we have to do our best.

           I may not be alone in this feeling of being so worried about not giving the right guidance to my kid,  but I take solace in the thought that at least I am giving my best until the end.